Do you ever think about the true purpose of your life? Why are we here, what do you believe, and how those two thoughts shape us everyday? I ponder this all of the time and lose countless hours of sleep over these thoughts. When it comes right down to it, I don't think any of us knows these answers, and I'll go as far as to say that we truly do not even know what lies in our own hearts and minds. We articulate our thoughts and express our emotions on the subject, but how we lead our lives tells such a different story. That may sound like a bold assertion, but bear with me and I'll explain.
If you've read any of my previous posts you know that I believe in God and try to lead a Christian-based life. Furthermore, and out of a need to keep it simple, most people would say they fall into one of three roughly organized groups of people: the group of believers, the group of non-believers and those that just don't know one way or the other. I would offer up, though, that we're all actually various shades of gray of the same group. We try to place ourselves into one of the three groups but then hedge our bets that the other two groups just might be correct.
As Christians, if we truly believed that life in Heaven is our ultimate goal, why do we not live this life solely focused on achieving that goal? We attend church on Sundays (or maybe just major religious holidays), take part in church groups, occasionally volunteer...and call it good. We spend the rest of our time taking care of our selfish needs. We buy nice clothes, drive fancy cars, eat more than our share of food and indulge in habits and behaviors that purely promote our contentment, happiness and comfort. I think it would be impossible to ask all of us to live a life of poverty and servitude, but we don't even feint an effort at leading a Christ-filled life. Do we truly believe??? Or, do we convince ourselves that we believe but then hedge our bets that this might be all there is and attempt to enjoy this life to its fullest, no matter how selfish the practices. We label ourselves as Christians so that if we face ultimate judgment we should be good to pass through the gates...but just in case that judgment never comes you better pass me another beer and the keys to the Benz.
Ironically, most self-professed non-believers play the exact same game. If you truly believed that this was it, that there was nothing beyond this world, then why wouldn't you lead a life completely devoted to self-satisfying behavior? If your actions hold no consequence, within the legal bounds of society, why would you even consider your actions... if it brings you pleasure then just do it. Yet I know a vast number of non-believers who are very honest business owners, giving individuals, compassionate caretakers, devoted spouses, and I have to ask myself why? If you believed nothing you did in this life mattered in the end, why would you take the time to be a good person? Any answer related to the greater good, moral code, the laws of mankind, speaks to some force beyond the here and now and at its core has its roots in some higher power. They may not admit it's the higher power the first group believes in, but it is a higher power. So then we have a group that absolutely claims to not believe in a higher power, but makes many choices in their life like one exists. I would argue they too are hedging their bets. Claiming to not believe in a higher power, but leading a good enough life, that way if that higher power is a forgiving being, they just might cross through those gates as well.
I think the great unknown is a key element to faith, and it is the fear of this unknown that drives our decision-making process. If the answers were clearly black and white we would not need faith, we would just know. I think as humans we are all somewhere along a great sliding scale of "belief." There is no wrong or right belief, because it is how you feel at that moment in time, and it seems to change throughout our lives. That faith can greatly waver for some of the most devout among us, and it can also show the light to some of darkest souls. Personally I struggle, as a believer, to understand why I am here, and if what I am doing serves the greater purpose I believe in, or am I completely looking out for my own earthly satisfactions?
Over the last couple of months I feel like I'm at a fork in the road of life and can't figure out which branch to take. I have recently turned down some opportunities, put some on hold and am in the process of exploring others. In the end I think my biggest problem is the sharp contrasts I exhibit: that of a Type A, ultra-competitive, driven person who at the end of the day has very simple wants and needs. I spend my life trying to position myself so that I can someday enjoy those simple things that really matter to me. How much sense does that make? Why not lead a satisfying, fulfilling life now? There has to be a balance right?
One of my many personal demons is that I am never satisfied, never content and always feel that there must be more, and that I need to be better or at least do better. Portuguese philosopher, Baruch Spinoza, has a famous quote, "All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare." I feel like a hamster in a wheel chasing this difficultly-rare excellence...that probably doesn't exist. Whether it is my obsession with endurance sports, solving a complicated veterinary case or taking on multiple jobs so that I can make more money -- that universal symbol of success (yes, that was sarcastic) -- I never get the feeling that what I have accomplished is "good enough." My constant struggle to fit more in always has me looking to the future, planning the next goal, but never living in the moment and enjoying the adventure. I get so wrapped up in what will be that I never fully grasp the what is now. By most people's accounts I have lead a successful life up to this point; however, my constant internal struggle is whether that successful life has been a purposeful life? In the end will my life have mattered, or will I have merely been another life that just existed? Am I leading a life that truly reflects my beliefs or am I merely hedging my bets that this might be it?
I have always said that if I could do what I love, and believe in what I do, I wouldn't need to make a lot of money. As humans I think this has been proven time and time again when studies reflect that above a certain basic level, more money does not bring more happiness. So why do so many of us sit in jobs that create stress and unhappiness in order to collect a paycheck, so that we can pay for the stuff we accumulate that doesn't bring us any more happiness?
I'm not foolish enough to think there is some perfect path that will allow us to be happy and content all of the time. There has to be some stresses and hurdles in life in order to make the good times good. If everything was always easy, always stress free it would become boring and routine, which I clearly can't handle. That being said, a person should strive for more good times than bad. Professionally I certainly am not in that place. Personally, I often wonder, do I create more artificial struggles for myself at the expense of enjoyment of the good times?
And here I sit, yearning to lead an impactful, meaningful life, but instead I go daily to a job that is not. What is keeping me from taking that leap of faith into a more satisfying professional and personal life? Are the beliefs I profess to hold truly shown in the example of the life I am leading? This blog post will probably fall into the category of rambling thoughts. There isn't an epiphany answer to share, some secret to happiness that I've stumbled upon. No, this was a way for me to put in writing the thoughts that have been constantly swirling in my head, throughout various stages of my life and rather intensely more recently. The thoughts of someone who is well on his way to middle age and still doesn't have a clue what he wants to be when he grows up. Whether you are a believer or not, we should all have the goal of using this life we have been given to its fullest. Every day spent not working towards some loftier goal is a day wasted, never to be lived again. We are here once. That's it. Use it to the fullest to pursue your beliefs and dreams... whatever they may be. The time is now to stop making excuses for all of the hurdles and roadblocks that stand between where you are today and the life you want to lead. The problem is that it takes strength, time, planning and perseverance to make it down that path, and too often it is easier to continue to jump on our little hamster wheels and do the same unhappy thing we've been doing for days, weeks, months and years. Sounds like someone who has it all figured out right? But then why am I joining you on that hamster wheel tomorrow, running around an endless circle? I don't know that answer. I guess I, too, am still an imperfect and flawed work in progress.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Craziness on the Joe Coaster
It's been two months since my last BLOG update, and a lot has transpired. I ran two half-marathons, a full marathon, and a triathlon; I overcame my biggest fear; was offered my dream job, which I subsequently declined; was with my sister as she went through a major medical event; threw my hat back in the consulting ring and started college...again. Not to mention the day-to-day adventures of life, job, family and friends.
One thing these last two months has driven home to me is that I do not like comfort, nor do I seek it. I'm not advocating a life of turmoil and chaos, but rather a life of challenging growth and discovery. Too often we take refuge in the routine of our lives, seeking a state of homeostasis that makes us feel that we have arrived. Life shouldn't be about racing to the top of the plateau and resting there comfortably until it is over. Life should be a never ending adventure...until it does. I sometimes hate my lack of contentment and am jealous of people who seem blindly content to live the same life day, after day, after day. I ponder a lot whether they have it all figured out and are truly content, or rather, have they just given up? In the end, whatever the answer, I don't think that a life of contentment is for me, and I don't think it is why we are here. The day we stop growing -- mentally, physically, or emotionally -- is the day we've stopped living.
I've never discussed the topic of this blog very openly, outside of family, friends and the others those two groups chose to make fun of me with. Up until a month ago I had a crippling fear of flying. This wasn't a just a simple fear of heights, the act of flying, claustrophobia...no, it was a deep-seeded decision not to fly. For me it was a control issue, and the fact that I could choose to never die in a plane crash. That may sound crazy to some...ok to most of you...but it was the "rational" decision I had come to years ago. Letting go, rolling with the punches, just taking what comes are all ideas that don't fit me too well. I have a constant need to be in control, to have a plan and to find the answers, even when they don't exist. Somewhere in this screwed up mind I had rationalized that I was in control of this particular uncontrollable situation. We really have no choice when it comes to our death, but in this case I had chosen not to die via plane crash.
For 33 years I lived with this "successful" triumph over the Grim Reaper. Over the years I had talks with numerous doctors about the issue and none of them felt medications were the answer. It wasn't an anxiety issue that a little Xanax would overcome; no, this was one I'd have to actually change the wiring to correct. At the end of the day it was one of those fears I could easily avoid for a vast majority of the time; I mean really there isn't a need to fly. About five or six years ago, when I really started taking on more consulting opportunities, the fear became an incredible hurdle that cost me some opportunities professionally. It was about this time I knew I had a problem and decided to seek some professional guidance with overcoming this challenge.
In hindsight, it is even more embarrassing now to admit to the fear than it was when I was battling it. I had let something so simple, really so childish, control me and greatly affect my life. I have accomplished a number of things in my life that many people would count as successes, but from a personal standpoint winning this battle with myself ranks pretty high on my list...and that just feels foolish. I "conquered" something that thousands upon thousands of people do hourly. Pathetic, I know, but huge to me. It may sound corny but I feel like shackles have been removed and a completely new door has been opened to me in this adventure of life.
I debated a long time about whether to write this post or not. It's certainly not a subject I'm proud of, but in the end I wrote it to maybe serve as an example. There were a number of things that I discovered during the five-year process of overcoming this fear of flying. I think we all have our fear of flying, that battle within us that unfortunately shapes a major area of our life often in a negative fashion, and a hurdle that, if overcome, would open so many opportunities and life experiences. For some it is a substance abuse issue or other unhealthy addictions, for others a fear of commitment, a pattern of bad choices so we quit making them, the crutch of our upbringing as an excuse for who we are today, a fear of change that forces us to hide behind the excuse of "that's how it's always been done," the fear of inadequacy forcing us to never even try, hiding behind the false assumption of not being smart enough or good enough, the fear of not mattering, the fear of being alone, the fear of facing who we really are...the list is endless and in the end we all have our fear of flying, yours just has a different name.
These fears can all be overcome, but it doesn't happen overnight, and it is a battle against the most worthy opponent you will ever confront, the one you have to face in the mirror every morning. For those of you who have spent time with me you know self-confidence is not something I lack. I don't want this to sound arrogant, but there isn't much I feel I can't do or accomplish if only given the right opportunities. That being said this was something I could not accomplish on my own or by myself. If there is a lesson to be learned and shared it is that there are some challenges in our life that when we truly identify them, we must ask for help from others, because too often we have proven ineffective at overcoming them on our own. It took me a long time to realize this simple little fact.
Too often we flounder at the ends of the spectrum, either we shoulder the load of the world on our own, or we rely on others to do too much for us. For much of our daily lives these solutions may work. They may not be the best solutions, but they work. When it comes to these major life hurdles, your personal fear of flying, these solutions don't work. It takes a complete dedication to change and desire to overcome the obstacle on your part combined with the love, support and guidance of those who serve that role in your life. Over the years I thought I had the dedication to overcome my fear, and I certainly had different support measures in place; however it wasn't until the events of the last couple of months that I saw only some of this was true and that not all of the pieces to this puzzle were in place.
The words coming out of my mouth, for years, were that I wanted to overcome this fear, but in the end I think they were just words and that until they became a true desire and commitment in my heart, which only recently occurred, I was never going to succeed. It wasn't until I truly wanted to end this ridiculous fear that I was able to muster the strength to get past it. I didn't come to these conclusions all on my own, and this is the part where I had to trust others to help me through this process. This might not sound like a big deal, but I'm a control freak and admitting my fears to others has certainly been a big deal and embarrassment to me. Couple that with actually asking others to be a part of the process, and this step was almost as difficult for me to make as actually committing to fly, and ironically, once I did, the flying part didn't seem that bad. The truth is my fear of flying wasn't a fear of flying, it was a fear of not being in control of a situation, and until I could admit that there are just some things I have no control over I was never getting on a plane. This was something I could have never done, never admitted too, and to be quite honest, never would have seen, without the help from others. Once I could let go...even a little...the flying part was a piece of cake.
As I was writing this BLOG post I came upon Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12, during some of my other weekly readings, and it seemed to be the perfect set of verses to illustrate this point.
We need each other to lead a successful, healthy life. The verse says nothing about a husband or wife, a brother or sister, father or mother, mentor or leader, it only says two is better than one and that a friend will be there to help. Too often we don't recognize where that help may come from because we're either struggling against the world alone, or we get caught up in titles and roles we expect people to fulfill. The key to it all, though, is our willingness to open our hearts to others so that they can be there for us when we fall, and more importantly, it takes us being strong enough to admit when we are too weak to shoulder our own burdens. Friendship cannot be a score-keeping venture, or it will be doomed to fail. There will be friends in your life that you will always be "helping up" and there will be friends who always seem to be the one helping pick up your share of the load.
In the end, we need each other, and there are certain aspects of our lives that the only way we will ever get through them is with the help, love and guidance of others. It sounds like such a simple statement but too often we let our need for control, our stubbornness, our pride and our embarrassments in our shortcomings serve as barricades to those people who could help us overcome and succeed at so much more in this life.
I certainly don't have all the answers, and my fear of flying is just one item on a list of "issues" I have. But, the willingness to allow others in my life to help me overcome that fear has changed my life forever and opened so many more doors to exciting opportunities that were previously just wishes and dreams. Can you do the same for your own fear of flying?
One thing these last two months has driven home to me is that I do not like comfort, nor do I seek it. I'm not advocating a life of turmoil and chaos, but rather a life of challenging growth and discovery. Too often we take refuge in the routine of our lives, seeking a state of homeostasis that makes us feel that we have arrived. Life shouldn't be about racing to the top of the plateau and resting there comfortably until it is over. Life should be a never ending adventure...until it does. I sometimes hate my lack of contentment and am jealous of people who seem blindly content to live the same life day, after day, after day. I ponder a lot whether they have it all figured out and are truly content, or rather, have they just given up? In the end, whatever the answer, I don't think that a life of contentment is for me, and I don't think it is why we are here. The day we stop growing -- mentally, physically, or emotionally -- is the day we've stopped living.
I've never discussed the topic of this blog very openly, outside of family, friends and the others those two groups chose to make fun of me with. Up until a month ago I had a crippling fear of flying. This wasn't a just a simple fear of heights, the act of flying, claustrophobia...no, it was a deep-seeded decision not to fly. For me it was a control issue, and the fact that I could choose to never die in a plane crash. That may sound crazy to some...ok to most of you...but it was the "rational" decision I had come to years ago. Letting go, rolling with the punches, just taking what comes are all ideas that don't fit me too well. I have a constant need to be in control, to have a plan and to find the answers, even when they don't exist. Somewhere in this screwed up mind I had rationalized that I was in control of this particular uncontrollable situation. We really have no choice when it comes to our death, but in this case I had chosen not to die via plane crash.
For 33 years I lived with this "successful" triumph over the Grim Reaper. Over the years I had talks with numerous doctors about the issue and none of them felt medications were the answer. It wasn't an anxiety issue that a little Xanax would overcome; no, this was one I'd have to actually change the wiring to correct. At the end of the day it was one of those fears I could easily avoid for a vast majority of the time; I mean really there isn't a need to fly. About five or six years ago, when I really started taking on more consulting opportunities, the fear became an incredible hurdle that cost me some opportunities professionally. It was about this time I knew I had a problem and decided to seek some professional guidance with overcoming this challenge.
In hindsight, it is even more embarrassing now to admit to the fear than it was when I was battling it. I had let something so simple, really so childish, control me and greatly affect my life. I have accomplished a number of things in my life that many people would count as successes, but from a personal standpoint winning this battle with myself ranks pretty high on my list...and that just feels foolish. I "conquered" something that thousands upon thousands of people do hourly. Pathetic, I know, but huge to me. It may sound corny but I feel like shackles have been removed and a completely new door has been opened to me in this adventure of life.
I debated a long time about whether to write this post or not. It's certainly not a subject I'm proud of, but in the end I wrote it to maybe serve as an example. There were a number of things that I discovered during the five-year process of overcoming this fear of flying. I think we all have our fear of flying, that battle within us that unfortunately shapes a major area of our life often in a negative fashion, and a hurdle that, if overcome, would open so many opportunities and life experiences. For some it is a substance abuse issue or other unhealthy addictions, for others a fear of commitment, a pattern of bad choices so we quit making them, the crutch of our upbringing as an excuse for who we are today, a fear of change that forces us to hide behind the excuse of "that's how it's always been done," the fear of inadequacy forcing us to never even try, hiding behind the false assumption of not being smart enough or good enough, the fear of not mattering, the fear of being alone, the fear of facing who we really are...the list is endless and in the end we all have our fear of flying, yours just has a different name.
These fears can all be overcome, but it doesn't happen overnight, and it is a battle against the most worthy opponent you will ever confront, the one you have to face in the mirror every morning. For those of you who have spent time with me you know self-confidence is not something I lack. I don't want this to sound arrogant, but there isn't much I feel I can't do or accomplish if only given the right opportunities. That being said this was something I could not accomplish on my own or by myself. If there is a lesson to be learned and shared it is that there are some challenges in our life that when we truly identify them, we must ask for help from others, because too often we have proven ineffective at overcoming them on our own. It took me a long time to realize this simple little fact.
Too often we flounder at the ends of the spectrum, either we shoulder the load of the world on our own, or we rely on others to do too much for us. For much of our daily lives these solutions may work. They may not be the best solutions, but they work. When it comes to these major life hurdles, your personal fear of flying, these solutions don't work. It takes a complete dedication to change and desire to overcome the obstacle on your part combined with the love, support and guidance of those who serve that role in your life. Over the years I thought I had the dedication to overcome my fear, and I certainly had different support measures in place; however it wasn't until the events of the last couple of months that I saw only some of this was true and that not all of the pieces to this puzzle were in place.
The words coming out of my mouth, for years, were that I wanted to overcome this fear, but in the end I think they were just words and that until they became a true desire and commitment in my heart, which only recently occurred, I was never going to succeed. It wasn't until I truly wanted to end this ridiculous fear that I was able to muster the strength to get past it. I didn't come to these conclusions all on my own, and this is the part where I had to trust others to help me through this process. This might not sound like a big deal, but I'm a control freak and admitting my fears to others has certainly been a big deal and embarrassment to me. Couple that with actually asking others to be a part of the process, and this step was almost as difficult for me to make as actually committing to fly, and ironically, once I did, the flying part didn't seem that bad. The truth is my fear of flying wasn't a fear of flying, it was a fear of not being in control of a situation, and until I could admit that there are just some things I have no control over I was never getting on a plane. This was something I could have never done, never admitted too, and to be quite honest, never would have seen, without the help from others. Once I could let go...even a little...the flying part was a piece of cake.
As I was writing this BLOG post I came upon Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12, during some of my other weekly readings, and it seemed to be the perfect set of verses to illustrate this point.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three stands is not quickly broken.
We need each other to lead a successful, healthy life. The verse says nothing about a husband or wife, a brother or sister, father or mother, mentor or leader, it only says two is better than one and that a friend will be there to help. Too often we don't recognize where that help may come from because we're either struggling against the world alone, or we get caught up in titles and roles we expect people to fulfill. The key to it all, though, is our willingness to open our hearts to others so that they can be there for us when we fall, and more importantly, it takes us being strong enough to admit when we are too weak to shoulder our own burdens. Friendship cannot be a score-keeping venture, or it will be doomed to fail. There will be friends in your life that you will always be "helping up" and there will be friends who always seem to be the one helping pick up your share of the load.
In the end, we need each other, and there are certain aspects of our lives that the only way we will ever get through them is with the help, love and guidance of others. It sounds like such a simple statement but too often we let our need for control, our stubbornness, our pride and our embarrassments in our shortcomings serve as barricades to those people who could help us overcome and succeed at so much more in this life.
I certainly don't have all the answers, and my fear of flying is just one item on a list of "issues" I have. But, the willingness to allow others in my life to help me overcome that fear has changed my life forever and opened so many more doors to exciting opportunities that were previously just wishes and dreams. Can you do the same for your own fear of flying?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
For Love, Money, or Prestige
Growing up my Dad and I would constantly banter over whether it was more important to be financially comfortable, in order to afford to do the things you love, or to have a job that absolutely satisfied you, regardless of the income. Obviously by my career choice I went the love route, and most days wish I would have listened to my Dad more. I don't make enough money, and most days I don't love what I do. I contemplate a lot whether I could tolerate the many extraneous issues with my profession if I made more money, or if I'd be happier doing something completely different? Or is it a matter of my own wanderlust and the need for new challenges that pushes me to never be complacent, or satisfied, and always seeking new frontiers?
Veterinary medicine has become somewhat of a cruel joke for those of us in the profession. Our salaries are barely comparable to paraprofessionals in other medical professions, and woefully low when actually compared to other similarly educated professionals. At the same time we are crippling the next generation of veterinarians with educational indebtedness that makes my mortgage payment seem reasonable, while paying them salaries with which they can barely make ends meet. All the while pet owners are expecting an ever increasing advancement in our skills, knowledge, and abilities to deliver the best medical care. Couple this with the fact that most of the country is in an economic downturn, with too many families struggling to put food on the table, let alone be able to fix Fluffy's ruptured cruciate ligament.
We will reach a point that one of these areas will have to bend before the others break. At some point our salaries (as well as those of our incredibly underpaid staffs....if you really want to meet a person who is in it for the love a job rather than money, talk to a veterinary technician) are going to need to increase, the cost of the education (and likely the knowledge level gained) is going to have to decrease, the cost of services will have to increase or the quality and level of care will have to decrease. The problem is that we want to be paid more, while our clients want the best care at the lowest price...at some point something will have to give. I certainly don't have the answers to this one, but I will be greatly affected by how the scenario plays out. And yet, with all this uncertainty on the horizon, I continue to go to work every day in my chosen career, because I do believe that what I do every day is inherently good.
This brings me to the latest turn on the Joe Coaster (see previous blog) of life. I recently was contacted, out of the blue, about what would essentially amount to a dream position within this profession. I should clarify, the actual "work" part of the offer would be a dream come true, there are certainly other issues that aren't perfect. The position is in a part of the country to which I could never imagine relocating, and the pay is essentially half of what I was making during the peak of my consulting days. On the other hand absolutely everything I have worked my entire life for professionally, would become a reality, and I would be given the chance to potentially leave my mark on this profession with which I have had a lifetime infatuation. In a twist I can only describe as incredible irony I have also been contacted to start up the consulting work I left behind a few years ago, which would certainly help on the income side of the equation. And, let's not forget, I'm also supposed to be starting graduate school this fall.
So I jump at this once in a lifetime opportunity right? Obviously I take the money and run? Oh, how I wish it was that easy. I have lived my entire life in the Upper Midwest, always less than a day's drive from my family. At the end of the day, outside of the gifts of our minds and bodies, our greatest blessings are our family, friends and the great people with which we share our lives. I have been incredibly blessed on this front. My family is wonderful and supportive. I have the great honor of currently working with the closest friends I have ever had in my entire life. And at the end of the day, I am a creature of routine and comfort and I'm certainly comfortable with the general path of my life...up until Tuesday's phone call and the end of the week emails.
If you haven't figured this out from my previous posts, I'm an incredibly emotional person. I don't have a lot of close friends, but the close friends I have in my life I am completely emotionally invested in, and value above all else. At the end of our lives I believe the impact, memories, and emotional interactions we have with others actually defines our earthly existence. Our career goals, income balance sheets, and positions all pale in comparison to the memories and impact we impart on others who are sharing this world with us. If you at all believe there is more for us beyond this world, it will only be the emotional and spiritual balance sheet that will be taken into account when we're gone.
So how do we decide what is the right thing? And by whose account is it right? All that I truly know is that I feel like I'm in a dream and that I'll wake up tomorrow and be back in the same routine. Truly I feel these options are an incredible blessing, and I am very thankful that I even have the agony of making decisions like this. So how does one decide? I know in my heart what is truly the "right" decision but for whatever reason I'm having trouble convincing my mind and ego that the decision is one with which we'll be able to live. Probably my biggest struggles are with the choices of what is selfishly right for me, and what is right by everyone else who is so vital to my life. And who am I to say that a new adventure would not open doors to others' lives whom I would find equally as important?
I know the answer is different for us all, but at the end of the day do you choose love, money or prestige? And would this decision be different at different stages of your life? I guess if nothing else I'll have plenty to think about on my long runs over the next month. The more I hear my own arguments, or see them as I wrote this post, the more clear the answer becomes...but will that be the answer which will bring me peace with my decisions or will I be haunted by what-ifs and might-have-beens?
Veterinary medicine has become somewhat of a cruel joke for those of us in the profession. Our salaries are barely comparable to paraprofessionals in other medical professions, and woefully low when actually compared to other similarly educated professionals. At the same time we are crippling the next generation of veterinarians with educational indebtedness that makes my mortgage payment seem reasonable, while paying them salaries with which they can barely make ends meet. All the while pet owners are expecting an ever increasing advancement in our skills, knowledge, and abilities to deliver the best medical care. Couple this with the fact that most of the country is in an economic downturn, with too many families struggling to put food on the table, let alone be able to fix Fluffy's ruptured cruciate ligament.
We will reach a point that one of these areas will have to bend before the others break. At some point our salaries (as well as those of our incredibly underpaid staffs....if you really want to meet a person who is in it for the love a job rather than money, talk to a veterinary technician) are going to need to increase, the cost of the education (and likely the knowledge level gained) is going to have to decrease, the cost of services will have to increase or the quality and level of care will have to decrease. The problem is that we want to be paid more, while our clients want the best care at the lowest price...at some point something will have to give. I certainly don't have the answers to this one, but I will be greatly affected by how the scenario plays out. And yet, with all this uncertainty on the horizon, I continue to go to work every day in my chosen career, because I do believe that what I do every day is inherently good.
This brings me to the latest turn on the Joe Coaster (see previous blog) of life. I recently was contacted, out of the blue, about what would essentially amount to a dream position within this profession. I should clarify, the actual "work" part of the offer would be a dream come true, there are certainly other issues that aren't perfect. The position is in a part of the country to which I could never imagine relocating, and the pay is essentially half of what I was making during the peak of my consulting days. On the other hand absolutely everything I have worked my entire life for professionally, would become a reality, and I would be given the chance to potentially leave my mark on this profession with which I have had a lifetime infatuation. In a twist I can only describe as incredible irony I have also been contacted to start up the consulting work I left behind a few years ago, which would certainly help on the income side of the equation. And, let's not forget, I'm also supposed to be starting graduate school this fall.
So I jump at this once in a lifetime opportunity right? Obviously I take the money and run? Oh, how I wish it was that easy. I have lived my entire life in the Upper Midwest, always less than a day's drive from my family. At the end of the day, outside of the gifts of our minds and bodies, our greatest blessings are our family, friends and the great people with which we share our lives. I have been incredibly blessed on this front. My family is wonderful and supportive. I have the great honor of currently working with the closest friends I have ever had in my entire life. And at the end of the day, I am a creature of routine and comfort and I'm certainly comfortable with the general path of my life...up until Tuesday's phone call and the end of the week emails.
If you haven't figured this out from my previous posts, I'm an incredibly emotional person. I don't have a lot of close friends, but the close friends I have in my life I am completely emotionally invested in, and value above all else. At the end of our lives I believe the impact, memories, and emotional interactions we have with others actually defines our earthly existence. Our career goals, income balance sheets, and positions all pale in comparison to the memories and impact we impart on others who are sharing this world with us. If you at all believe there is more for us beyond this world, it will only be the emotional and spiritual balance sheet that will be taken into account when we're gone.
So how do we decide what is the right thing? And by whose account is it right? All that I truly know is that I feel like I'm in a dream and that I'll wake up tomorrow and be back in the same routine. Truly I feel these options are an incredible blessing, and I am very thankful that I even have the agony of making decisions like this. So how does one decide? I know in my heart what is truly the "right" decision but for whatever reason I'm having trouble convincing my mind and ego that the decision is one with which we'll be able to live. Probably my biggest struggles are with the choices of what is selfishly right for me, and what is right by everyone else who is so vital to my life. And who am I to say that a new adventure would not open doors to others' lives whom I would find equally as important?
I know the answer is different for us all, but at the end of the day do you choose love, money or prestige? And would this decision be different at different stages of your life? I guess if nothing else I'll have plenty to think about on my long runs over the next month. The more I hear my own arguments, or see them as I wrote this post, the more clear the answer becomes...but will that be the answer which will bring me peace with my decisions or will I be haunted by what-ifs and might-have-beens?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Being Gray in a Black and White World
We have become a world of labels: people that must fit under a banner or into a set box; we must organize our world and ourselves into pigeon holes. It is an "us versus them" mentality. You are "for us or against us," with no regard to deeper discussion and meaning. We so strive for everything in our world to be simple that we make everything black and white or cut and dried, or choose your own cliche, but at the end of the day we want to everything to have a nice little title and fit into some predetermined category. It is this mentality, taken to the extreme, that has led to the current state of disarray in this country. Our systems of government, health care, education, and economics are broken, and until we admit that the world is gray and not black and white we will never be able to fix them.
Rational people have different opinions based on life-experiences, education and personal beliefs. One of my favorite country singers, Chris LeDoux, has a song entitled "Cowboy and the Hippie." It is about a cowboy and hippie hitchhikers who, after nearly coming to blows over their differences, realize at their cores how much they actually have in common. Sometimes I feel I have this same argument occurring in my own mind, am I a cowboy or a hippie, a conservative or a liberal? I would argue we all are a little of both, and with the important items we often could sit down and agree; however, we get hung up on the little details and have to remain on separate sides of the isle in order to preserve our labels in our nice, neat, black and white little world.
My life is filled with examples of not fitting into a clear-cut political, or worldly-view box. I currently own an American-made, full-size, 16-lousy-mpg pickup truck and at the same time own a German-engineered, clean burning diesel, 40-50 mpg car. Cowboy or hippie? There are three stores in town where the employees know me on a first name basis: the bike shop, the coffee house and COACH. So am I a carbon bike riding, non-fat latte sipping, designer clothes wearing snob...or a mountain bike riding, granola munching, coffee swigging, bearded tree hugger?
One of my favorite past-times is hunting. Obviously I own guns as part of this pursuit. On the other hand, second amendment or not, I don't believe everyone in this country is entitled to have some unlimited right to guns. The problem is slippery slope logic and it seems to be an all or none game when it comes to gun ownership, from either side of the argument. So am I a NRA-wacko or a communist gun grabber?
I have been ultra-conservative with my money throughout my life. I have always attempted to save and keep my debt load to a minimum. I used academics to earn a spot in college, worked through college, have had jobs since graduation that ranged for working for large corporations to owning my own business. At the same time my childhood was shaped by union labor. I saw how big business could use strategies to break its workforce and manipulate sentiment in order to maximize profits. I have worked side-by-side with migrant workers, some illegals, and understand the struggles they go through in an effort to better their state in life. With these life experiences, and current state as a DINK (dual-income no kids), it's crystal clear where I stand fiscally...right?
For the last 14 years I have faithfully been with the same woman, married for 12 of those years, attend church and have even considered the ministry. I also have promiscuous friends, gay friends, alcoholic friends, and friends that don't fit into any category. I believe in personal choice and freedoms, and that the government shouldn't have a role in our personal lives and choices. However, I also feel that there is a place for the government when those personal choices have the potential to negatively impact the personal lives of others. You all can see clearly where that line is drawn right?
There is no doubt that money makes more money, and the rich get richer. Or, they should get richer as long as they don't get too greedy. While we all might not have the potential to be ubermillionaires, it is still possible in this country to do just about whatever you want. At the end of the day no amount of luck, or money, will ever be able to replace hard work and dedication when it comes to achieving your goals. The kicker is that with power too often comes greed. I would like to believe that as humans we are inherently good, but time and time again we prove otherwise. We need rules, laws and some amount of taxation, to ensure that businesses play fair and needed services are provided to the many. By the same token workers need to be adequately protected and receive fair wages, but not to the point of undermining the company's ability to generate a profit. Here again we have two polarizing camps: big-business looking to maximize profits and organized labor looking for their best deal. Both groups need the other and both want to win the debate. So, a certain amount of structure is needed, and rules need to be created; however, in this modern state of affairs who do we trust to make these rules and decisions?
Abortion and the death penalty are two topics that are filled with deep emotion. Both bring about an end, and both have fervent supporters on both sides of the isle. Why is it that those so passionate about one are so against the other? How can those two sides feel that such a complex issue is completely black and white? I could sincerely, and passionately, argue both sides of both issues on any given day. There are certain issues that are bigger than those making the decisions and issues that truly do not have right and wrong answers. As a society we have come to accept the decisions of the majority, and sometimes those decisions and opinions change. The problem is that those decisions and opinions should be based on open discussions. Unfortunately though, those vital discussions are never allowed to happen by those so polarized and blinded by their own passion.
Mention the words, social programs, and just about everyone will have a negative response. There are those that feel there should be no social programs, while others feel the government needs to do more. As long as man inhabits this earth there will be a need for structure, rules and programs for those that need assistance. As fellow man, independent of religious beliefs, we have an obligation to those less fortunate. The sticking point becomes how do you manage these programs, who is allowed into them and at what point do we say enough is enough? I have no doubt that my ultra-conservative friends and ultra-liberal friends could sit down over a drink and have a discussion on social issues. In fact they probably would find that they agree upon some issues, and come to agreement on programs to address these social issues. All would agree that some type of limit to the use the programs, and prevent abuse, would need to be in place and personal accountability would have to enter the picture at some point in time. Why can't we have these same discussions on a national level?
Whatever happened to winners and losers? We don't all succeed all the time so why do we shape our children to believe this to be true? We need to go back to keeping score, from Little League to home ownership. There is no longer an incentive to succeed, because we are never allowed to have the fear of failure. With unlimited strikes in Little League and mortgage bailouts as adults, we never have to worry about losing. We have become complacent and comfortable, and it has stunted what we can become. We want to have everything given to us all of the time. The entire paradigm needs to be changed so that we once again understand what it means to lose, to suffer, to go without so that we can strive to achieve, to win and to appreciate what we have.
Along those same lines when did it become a bad thing to change your opinion? As soon as a politician changes theirs they are labeled a waffler, and decried as being somehow in the wrong. As intelligent creatures shouldn't we all change our opinions at times based on new information and new life experiences? Whether it is my doctor, an elected official or a family member I respect them more for their ability to be able to admit when they are wrong and change course accordingly. Too often we hold the ability to reason, to learn, to change, as a negative when it should be championed as a positive. It is this rigid inflexibility that leads us down these dark paths we find ourselves in today's world.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who point out problems without offering some type of solution, and to a certain degree I'm guilty of that here. So, what do we do? I don't think the solutions are Tea Parties and the currently popular attitude to not re-elect any official...again the extremes. There is a need for real discussion with real people. We all know what the typical two-party spin is on any particularly subject and we all know which 24-hour news channels promote that spin. We recognize this stupidity for what it is, yet we continue to allow it to happen. Elected officials used to be the intelligent, visionary leaders amongst us, now those people are too smart to enter the helpless fray that has become our political system.
We are a world of grays trying to live in an artificially black and white world. Opinions, success, failure, and compromise are not dirty words. There is a need for open dialogue about what really matters to us, and we need to put out a call for leaders who are willing to lead. Whether you believe truly in "Mission Accomplished" or that there is a "Change You Believe In" there is no denying that our country's system is broken and is in dire need of fixing.
There is a famous quote that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's fair to say by this definition that we are clearly insane in this country. The system is broken and the question remains, can we ever fix it?
Rational people have different opinions based on life-experiences, education and personal beliefs. One of my favorite country singers, Chris LeDoux, has a song entitled "Cowboy and the Hippie." It is about a cowboy and hippie hitchhikers who, after nearly coming to blows over their differences, realize at their cores how much they actually have in common. Sometimes I feel I have this same argument occurring in my own mind, am I a cowboy or a hippie, a conservative or a liberal? I would argue we all are a little of both, and with the important items we often could sit down and agree; however, we get hung up on the little details and have to remain on separate sides of the isle in order to preserve our labels in our nice, neat, black and white little world.
My life is filled with examples of not fitting into a clear-cut political, or worldly-view box. I currently own an American-made, full-size, 16-lousy-mpg pickup truck and at the same time own a German-engineered, clean burning diesel, 40-50 mpg car. Cowboy or hippie? There are three stores in town where the employees know me on a first name basis: the bike shop, the coffee house and COACH. So am I a carbon bike riding, non-fat latte sipping, designer clothes wearing snob...or a mountain bike riding, granola munching, coffee swigging, bearded tree hugger?
One of my favorite past-times is hunting. Obviously I own guns as part of this pursuit. On the other hand, second amendment or not, I don't believe everyone in this country is entitled to have some unlimited right to guns. The problem is slippery slope logic and it seems to be an all or none game when it comes to gun ownership, from either side of the argument. So am I a NRA-wacko or a communist gun grabber?
I have been ultra-conservative with my money throughout my life. I have always attempted to save and keep my debt load to a minimum. I used academics to earn a spot in college, worked through college, have had jobs since graduation that ranged for working for large corporations to owning my own business. At the same time my childhood was shaped by union labor. I saw how big business could use strategies to break its workforce and manipulate sentiment in order to maximize profits. I have worked side-by-side with migrant workers, some illegals, and understand the struggles they go through in an effort to better their state in life. With these life experiences, and current state as a DINK (dual-income no kids), it's crystal clear where I stand fiscally...right?
For the last 14 years I have faithfully been with the same woman, married for 12 of those years, attend church and have even considered the ministry. I also have promiscuous friends, gay friends, alcoholic friends, and friends that don't fit into any category. I believe in personal choice and freedoms, and that the government shouldn't have a role in our personal lives and choices. However, I also feel that there is a place for the government when those personal choices have the potential to negatively impact the personal lives of others. You all can see clearly where that line is drawn right?
There is no doubt that money makes more money, and the rich get richer. Or, they should get richer as long as they don't get too greedy. While we all might not have the potential to be ubermillionaires, it is still possible in this country to do just about whatever you want. At the end of the day no amount of luck, or money, will ever be able to replace hard work and dedication when it comes to achieving your goals. The kicker is that with power too often comes greed. I would like to believe that as humans we are inherently good, but time and time again we prove otherwise. We need rules, laws and some amount of taxation, to ensure that businesses play fair and needed services are provided to the many. By the same token workers need to be adequately protected and receive fair wages, but not to the point of undermining the company's ability to generate a profit. Here again we have two polarizing camps: big-business looking to maximize profits and organized labor looking for their best deal. Both groups need the other and both want to win the debate. So, a certain amount of structure is needed, and rules need to be created; however, in this modern state of affairs who do we trust to make these rules and decisions?
Abortion and the death penalty are two topics that are filled with deep emotion. Both bring about an end, and both have fervent supporters on both sides of the isle. Why is it that those so passionate about one are so against the other? How can those two sides feel that such a complex issue is completely black and white? I could sincerely, and passionately, argue both sides of both issues on any given day. There are certain issues that are bigger than those making the decisions and issues that truly do not have right and wrong answers. As a society we have come to accept the decisions of the majority, and sometimes those decisions and opinions change. The problem is that those decisions and opinions should be based on open discussions. Unfortunately though, those vital discussions are never allowed to happen by those so polarized and blinded by their own passion.
Mention the words, social programs, and just about everyone will have a negative response. There are those that feel there should be no social programs, while others feel the government needs to do more. As long as man inhabits this earth there will be a need for structure, rules and programs for those that need assistance. As fellow man, independent of religious beliefs, we have an obligation to those less fortunate. The sticking point becomes how do you manage these programs, who is allowed into them and at what point do we say enough is enough? I have no doubt that my ultra-conservative friends and ultra-liberal friends could sit down over a drink and have a discussion on social issues. In fact they probably would find that they agree upon some issues, and come to agreement on programs to address these social issues. All would agree that some type of limit to the use the programs, and prevent abuse, would need to be in place and personal accountability would have to enter the picture at some point in time. Why can't we have these same discussions on a national level?
Whatever happened to winners and losers? We don't all succeed all the time so why do we shape our children to believe this to be true? We need to go back to keeping score, from Little League to home ownership. There is no longer an incentive to succeed, because we are never allowed to have the fear of failure. With unlimited strikes in Little League and mortgage bailouts as adults, we never have to worry about losing. We have become complacent and comfortable, and it has stunted what we can become. We want to have everything given to us all of the time. The entire paradigm needs to be changed so that we once again understand what it means to lose, to suffer, to go without so that we can strive to achieve, to win and to appreciate what we have.
Along those same lines when did it become a bad thing to change your opinion? As soon as a politician changes theirs they are labeled a waffler, and decried as being somehow in the wrong. As intelligent creatures shouldn't we all change our opinions at times based on new information and new life experiences? Whether it is my doctor, an elected official or a family member I respect them more for their ability to be able to admit when they are wrong and change course accordingly. Too often we hold the ability to reason, to learn, to change, as a negative when it should be championed as a positive. It is this rigid inflexibility that leads us down these dark paths we find ourselves in today's world.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who point out problems without offering some type of solution, and to a certain degree I'm guilty of that here. So, what do we do? I don't think the solutions are Tea Parties and the currently popular attitude to not re-elect any official...again the extremes. There is a need for real discussion with real people. We all know what the typical two-party spin is on any particularly subject and we all know which 24-hour news channels promote that spin. We recognize this stupidity for what it is, yet we continue to allow it to happen. Elected officials used to be the intelligent, visionary leaders amongst us, now those people are too smart to enter the helpless fray that has become our political system.
We are a world of grays trying to live in an artificially black and white world. Opinions, success, failure, and compromise are not dirty words. There is a need for open dialogue about what really matters to us, and we need to put out a call for leaders who are willing to lead. Whether you believe truly in "Mission Accomplished" or that there is a "Change You Believe In" there is no denying that our country's system is broken and is in dire need of fixing.
There is a famous quote that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's fair to say by this definition that we are clearly insane in this country. The system is broken and the question remains, can we ever fix it?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Perfection -- Is it in you?
This is one of my off days from the marathon training schedule. On my long runs I get a lot of time to think about a variety of topics and ideas. My goal with this blog is to write down some of the inner ramblings that occur while I'm pounding the pavement. Some you may get, a few may make you wonder if I've lost my mind, and I'm hoping a couple will actually bring meaningful insight to your day.
I think about perfection a lot. Now, I'll qualify that by stating that in no way do I think I'm perfect or that true perfection is even attainable; however, I do think it should be everyone's goal to strive towards that end. It seems that using the term perfect, or the goal of its attainment, has become a dirty word in today's society of "good enough." To even insinuate perfection is somehow a show of arrogance or a "holier than thou" attitude that is shunned. Too often we use the fact that we will never be perfect as an excuse to not even attempt to reach that goal, and instead, too often, we do just enough to get by. Are we not wasting the greatest experiences of our lives, our talents, our hopes, and our dreams by not chasing this ideal of perfection that lies within us all?
Perfection has been defined many ways, and it is the definition "without flaw" that I think too many people get hung up on and use as their excuse to quit, or to never start down that path. By our very nature we are flaw filled, so by this definition of perfection we have no hope. However, there is more to the ideal of perfection. These are the ideas of being whole, complete, an example of excellence, or the attainment of a purpose. All are commonly used definitions of perfection, and all are goals that we should be striving for as humans. Unfortunately we have traded in our human spirit of pushing beyond, of inner and outer discovery, our quest for something better... We have traded all of these for the goal of comfort. What kind of goal is that? Has the winning argument become, "I can't be perfect so why even try?"
The only way we'll ever advance, dare I say become whole and complete, is to challenge ourselves to push towards our own inner perfection. How will you ever know what you are made of if you never push yourself beyond your limits? How will you know what lies beyond if you never break your mind and body down completely, to the point of exhaustion, to the point of a lack of understanding, in order to discover what lies at your core? How will you ever discover your hidden potential if you never challenge yourself beyond the comfortable and the known? If you never push towards the limits, if you never find your boundaries, how will you ever know where they are or if they exist? How will you ever know if you neared your best, your perfectness, if you never laid it all on the line?
Much of the problem is that we look toward some ultimate example of perfection as though it were one goal. Truly I feel that each of us contains our own perfection and that within us all is unique perfection, not some universal standard we all should strive to achieve. We are given the gifts of our minds and bodies, and it is wholly and completely using these gifts, to attain the purpose of completing these gifts, that is the path towards perfection. We see examples of other people's degrees of perfection every day. It is this higher level on the path to perfection they exhibit that attracts us to the people we surround ourselves with: our spouses, our friends, co-workers, and others in our lives. All of us are on this path towards perfection, we all just have varying degrees of success in tapping into our own perfection in the many facets of our lives. Certainly none of us will ever obtain true perfection, but does that mean we shouldn't strive towards fully realizing our potential?
In today's society we no longer journey; we no longer follow a path. Instead we are consumed with instant gratification and results. None of your greatest life experiences, those events that shaped who you are, came without some type of struggle or journey. However, instead of embracing those struggles, those challenges, those journeys, we look for comfort and insulation from anything that may bring us pain, suffering, discomfort and ultimately growth. How can we ever experience the highest of highs without feeling the lows? It is these walls that must be broken down, these barriers pushed through, in order for us to continue to grow, to find out who we are, both mentally and physically, on our path to discovering our perfection. It is a very weak argument to state that since we can't attain perfection there is no reason to even attempt it.
There are times that this lack of attainment will result in frustration and will be disheartening, but the path of life is filled with frustrations and heartbreak. It is impossible to experience success without knowing failure. One cannot feel true love without suffering true hurt, and one cannot appreciate accomplishment without the struggle of the journey. My pure love for others in my life has created great pain when the love wasn't mutual, but the joy that is experienced when that love is returned is worth every ounce of pain that is incurred along the way. Much as with my endurance endeavors, the pain and suffering never holds a candle to the overwhelming sense of personal accomplishment. Life could be a lot more even-keeled without the highs and lows, but it is a life that is never truly lived. Or, put in simplistic terms normal is boring.
There is a need for a bit of a disclaimer here, and with it out of the way I hope this discussion can continue. Obviously all of our thoughts, beliefs and actions are shaped by something. Since this blog is in its infancy I thought it may be necessary to give insight into what shapes some of the ramblings that will occur on this site. I'm a believer, how I live my life is guided by the Bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ. At several points in my life I have felt a call to the ministry but have never taken that leap. What I don't want is for this fact to instantly close the minds of those reading this blog or for you to go no further. We are too quick to categorize and pigeon-hole people. For many people there are two groups of Christians: those that attend church but don't talk about it openly and the Bible-thumping crowd. I would like to think most of us fall somewhere in between. Likewise, I don't believe the other group's pigeon hole is that of all non-believers. I think all of us as humans are on a spiritual path, we are all just at different places. No matter your beliefs, our mine, we are in this life together, and as such are tied together along this path regardless of our differing beliefs, or lack thereof. I readily welcome discussion from all angles, but don't tolerate closed-mindedness and sweeping generalizations. I want to look at the idea of perfection a bit deeper, and I hope it's at this turn that I don't loose some of my audience.
In several places throughout the Bible the ideal of perfection is discussed. In Matthew 5:48 Jesus instructs, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." If it was just that simple, and we used the "without flaw" definition of perfect, then we really wouldn't need the rest of the Good Book with instructions on how to live, and we wouldn't have a need for the Easter holiday, because we all would just be perfect. Clearly we are not without flaw, however, we all have the ability to be complete, to be whole and to attain our purpose. It is this definition, this goal of perfection, that we all should be striving to attain.
I would go so far as to say that with anything worth doing in our lives we should be striving to do it to the best of our ability. Too often I think we find ourselves going through the motions, doing enough to just get by or by just doing what we can do. Is that any way to live? Have we admitted defeat and the consolation prize of the easy road? When we stop growing as people, when we stop challenging ourselves to become better, more perfect creations, we have essentially admitted defeat and are counting our days to the end of our sentence. By constantly striving for the unattainable goal of perfection, by continuing to grow, our journey never ends and only gets better with each day and every moment we embrace.
Now I would be a fool to think we could keep this "all in, all the time" attitude up, and anyone who knows me will attest that I can sometimes get moody, dark, negative and quite crass. In our house my wife has even named the condition as "Life on the Joe Coaster." However, I would like to think that my general prevailing attitude is one of being my best and serving others to my fullest. This striving for perfection leads to restlessness and a lack of contentment that can certainly be negatives when taken to the extremes. On the other end of the spectrum, the highs are like no other and the depth of beauty and joy you can experience is beyond that which you could ever imagine.
It is our duty as human beings to strive towards perfection. Every day we should be doing our God-given best at our jobs, as fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, as friends and as fellow human beings. To do anything less is a dis-service to the amazing gifts we have been given in the form of the talents we possess and the gifts of the wonderful people we all have in our lives.
It my sound cliche, but life is a journey that you can either experience to the fullest or sit back and allow it to pass you by. Unfortunately in our instant access society this is one game without a pause, reset or start over button. We get one chance on this ride and we have the choice of swinging into the saddle or staying in bed....as for me, well, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
I think about perfection a lot. Now, I'll qualify that by stating that in no way do I think I'm perfect or that true perfection is even attainable; however, I do think it should be everyone's goal to strive towards that end. It seems that using the term perfect, or the goal of its attainment, has become a dirty word in today's society of "good enough." To even insinuate perfection is somehow a show of arrogance or a "holier than thou" attitude that is shunned. Too often we use the fact that we will never be perfect as an excuse to not even attempt to reach that goal, and instead, too often, we do just enough to get by. Are we not wasting the greatest experiences of our lives, our talents, our hopes, and our dreams by not chasing this ideal of perfection that lies within us all?
Perfection has been defined many ways, and it is the definition "without flaw" that I think too many people get hung up on and use as their excuse to quit, or to never start down that path. By our very nature we are flaw filled, so by this definition of perfection we have no hope. However, there is more to the ideal of perfection. These are the ideas of being whole, complete, an example of excellence, or the attainment of a purpose. All are commonly used definitions of perfection, and all are goals that we should be striving for as humans. Unfortunately we have traded in our human spirit of pushing beyond, of inner and outer discovery, our quest for something better... We have traded all of these for the goal of comfort. What kind of goal is that? Has the winning argument become, "I can't be perfect so why even try?"
The only way we'll ever advance, dare I say become whole and complete, is to challenge ourselves to push towards our own inner perfection. How will you ever know what you are made of if you never push yourself beyond your limits? How will you know what lies beyond if you never break your mind and body down completely, to the point of exhaustion, to the point of a lack of understanding, in order to discover what lies at your core? How will you ever discover your hidden potential if you never challenge yourself beyond the comfortable and the known? If you never push towards the limits, if you never find your boundaries, how will you ever know where they are or if they exist? How will you ever know if you neared your best, your perfectness, if you never laid it all on the line?
Much of the problem is that we look toward some ultimate example of perfection as though it were one goal. Truly I feel that each of us contains our own perfection and that within us all is unique perfection, not some universal standard we all should strive to achieve. We are given the gifts of our minds and bodies, and it is wholly and completely using these gifts, to attain the purpose of completing these gifts, that is the path towards perfection. We see examples of other people's degrees of perfection every day. It is this higher level on the path to perfection they exhibit that attracts us to the people we surround ourselves with: our spouses, our friends, co-workers, and others in our lives. All of us are on this path towards perfection, we all just have varying degrees of success in tapping into our own perfection in the many facets of our lives. Certainly none of us will ever obtain true perfection, but does that mean we shouldn't strive towards fully realizing our potential?
In today's society we no longer journey; we no longer follow a path. Instead we are consumed with instant gratification and results. None of your greatest life experiences, those events that shaped who you are, came without some type of struggle or journey. However, instead of embracing those struggles, those challenges, those journeys, we look for comfort and insulation from anything that may bring us pain, suffering, discomfort and ultimately growth. How can we ever experience the highest of highs without feeling the lows? It is these walls that must be broken down, these barriers pushed through, in order for us to continue to grow, to find out who we are, both mentally and physically, on our path to discovering our perfection. It is a very weak argument to state that since we can't attain perfection there is no reason to even attempt it.
There are times that this lack of attainment will result in frustration and will be disheartening, but the path of life is filled with frustrations and heartbreak. It is impossible to experience success without knowing failure. One cannot feel true love without suffering true hurt, and one cannot appreciate accomplishment without the struggle of the journey. My pure love for others in my life has created great pain when the love wasn't mutual, but the joy that is experienced when that love is returned is worth every ounce of pain that is incurred along the way. Much as with my endurance endeavors, the pain and suffering never holds a candle to the overwhelming sense of personal accomplishment. Life could be a lot more even-keeled without the highs and lows, but it is a life that is never truly lived. Or, put in simplistic terms normal is boring.
There is a need for a bit of a disclaimer here, and with it out of the way I hope this discussion can continue. Obviously all of our thoughts, beliefs and actions are shaped by something. Since this blog is in its infancy I thought it may be necessary to give insight into what shapes some of the ramblings that will occur on this site. I'm a believer, how I live my life is guided by the Bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ. At several points in my life I have felt a call to the ministry but have never taken that leap. What I don't want is for this fact to instantly close the minds of those reading this blog or for you to go no further. We are too quick to categorize and pigeon-hole people. For many people there are two groups of Christians: those that attend church but don't talk about it openly and the Bible-thumping crowd. I would like to think most of us fall somewhere in between. Likewise, I don't believe the other group's pigeon hole is that of all non-believers. I think all of us as humans are on a spiritual path, we are all just at different places. No matter your beliefs, our mine, we are in this life together, and as such are tied together along this path regardless of our differing beliefs, or lack thereof. I readily welcome discussion from all angles, but don't tolerate closed-mindedness and sweeping generalizations. I want to look at the idea of perfection a bit deeper, and I hope it's at this turn that I don't loose some of my audience.
In several places throughout the Bible the ideal of perfection is discussed. In Matthew 5:48 Jesus instructs, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." If it was just that simple, and we used the "without flaw" definition of perfect, then we really wouldn't need the rest of the Good Book with instructions on how to live, and we wouldn't have a need for the Easter holiday, because we all would just be perfect. Clearly we are not without flaw, however, we all have the ability to be complete, to be whole and to attain our purpose. It is this definition, this goal of perfection, that we all should be striving to attain.
I would go so far as to say that with anything worth doing in our lives we should be striving to do it to the best of our ability. Too often I think we find ourselves going through the motions, doing enough to just get by or by just doing what we can do. Is that any way to live? Have we admitted defeat and the consolation prize of the easy road? When we stop growing as people, when we stop challenging ourselves to become better, more perfect creations, we have essentially admitted defeat and are counting our days to the end of our sentence. By constantly striving for the unattainable goal of perfection, by continuing to grow, our journey never ends and only gets better with each day and every moment we embrace.
Now I would be a fool to think we could keep this "all in, all the time" attitude up, and anyone who knows me will attest that I can sometimes get moody, dark, negative and quite crass. In our house my wife has even named the condition as "Life on the Joe Coaster." However, I would like to think that my general prevailing attitude is one of being my best and serving others to my fullest. This striving for perfection leads to restlessness and a lack of contentment that can certainly be negatives when taken to the extremes. On the other end of the spectrum, the highs are like no other and the depth of beauty and joy you can experience is beyond that which you could ever imagine.
It is our duty as human beings to strive towards perfection. Every day we should be doing our God-given best at our jobs, as fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, as friends and as fellow human beings. To do anything less is a dis-service to the amazing gifts we have been given in the form of the talents we possess and the gifts of the wonderful people we all have in our lives.
It my sound cliche, but life is a journey that you can either experience to the fullest or sit back and allow it to pass you by. Unfortunately in our instant access society this is one game without a pause, reset or start over button. We get one chance on this ride and we have the choice of swinging into the saddle or staying in bed....as for me, well, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Epitomizing the Spirit of the Blog
Today was one of those days that inspired me to write this blog. It began at 4:30am with a 10-mile run and is just wrapping up at 10pm as I post the pictures and write-up of the day's events. In between it included a full day at work, with four major dental procedures, a mountain bike ride, good conversations, and excellent food.
We all were tired when the alarm rang out this morning and only Belle and Lily braved the early morning hours with me.
The run turned into more of a death march for all of us, and we made it back home just in time for a quick shower and a dash to the clinic. Today was an oddball day as I had a multitude of dentals scheduled, including have a good friend, who is also my dentist, come in to do some repair work on the canine tooth of a young canine.
He ended up taking some impressions in case the owners elect to have a crown placed.
After a couple of hectic last appointments my friend Justin and I headed south for the first mountain bike ride of the season.
I even decided to mess around with video on the point and shoot. The quality isn't great but managed a couple of clips of Justin on some of the downhills.
It has been our tradition to cap our bike rides with a celebratory brew. The choice tonight was Hazed and Infused.
To top the day off I was greeted when I got home (exceedingly late nonetheless) by an excellently prepared meal of pancetta wrapped chicken, roasted asparagus and pesto orzo. How lucky of a guy am I???
We all were tired when the alarm rang out this morning and only Belle and Lily braved the early morning hours with me.
The run turned into more of a death march for all of us, and we made it back home just in time for a quick shower and a dash to the clinic. Today was an oddball day as I had a multitude of dentals scheduled, including have a good friend, who is also my dentist, come in to do some repair work on the canine tooth of a young canine.
He ended up taking some impressions in case the owners elect to have a crown placed.
After a couple of hectic last appointments my friend Justin and I headed south for the first mountain bike ride of the season.
I even decided to mess around with video on the point and shoot. The quality isn't great but managed a couple of clips of Justin on some of the downhills.
It has been our tradition to cap our bike rides with a celebratory brew. The choice tonight was Hazed and Infused.
To top the day off I was greeted when I got home (exceedingly late nonetheless) by an excellently prepared meal of pancetta wrapped chicken, roasted asparagus and pesto orzo. How lucky of a guy am I???
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Introduction---Why the New Site
For years I've had a longing to write more--to share my thoughts, ideas, and sometimes crazy inner-ramblings with others. The process has started and stopped many times, and the efforts have seemed to focus on the professional aspect of my life and have ranged from books with only a few chapters written to my largest work to-date, my website Gundogdoc.com. Those of you who have recently visited the site have probably noticed that it has fallen a bit by the wayside. It became an unruly master that I no longer enjoyed serving, so I took a break. The longer the break has become, the less I see myself returning to that site with any regular updates, but I still feel that need to write and create.
More recently I have joined the "social networking revolution," and after months of nay-saying have become a bit of a Facebook addict. It has served as a miniature outlet and a place I could talk about more than dogs, hunting and veterinary medicine. In the end, though, it is still just served to whet my appetite for a return to writing and for something without the confines of subject matter or space. So I guess you might say this blog is a bit of a selfish endeavor, and you would be right. I'm hoping it is a selfish endeavor that you will be able enjoy, whether it be through the photography or through the ideas and discussions in the posts.
My plan for this blog is to explore everything from religion to politics, and from crazy pet owners to dogs that I've loved. It will include photography, some soap boxing, my thoughts on life and hopefully a few useful bits as well. A person has a lot of time to think when they're up at 4:30 to get a long run in before work, or sitting on the side of a slough waiting for the perfect combination of birds and lighting, and it's these thoughts that I hope to share within the confines of this blog. At the end of the day, who knows what it will be other than another new adventure, and we'll see where it takes us. I hope you give me a little time to feel this out and that you'll stick around with feedback, both good and bad.
What's in a name? No I didn't name the blog after a Bon Jovi song, and until I came up with the name, I didn't even know that Bon Jovi song existed. It's actually the answer I find myself giving too often when asked how I fit all the things I do into my life. We only get one shot at this dance, and I want to take full advantage of the opportunities I've been given and live with no regrets. There are two quotes that I think sum up this attitude:
More recently I have joined the "social networking revolution," and after months of nay-saying have become a bit of a Facebook addict. It has served as a miniature outlet and a place I could talk about more than dogs, hunting and veterinary medicine. In the end, though, it is still just served to whet my appetite for a return to writing and for something without the confines of subject matter or space. So I guess you might say this blog is a bit of a selfish endeavor, and you would be right. I'm hoping it is a selfish endeavor that you will be able enjoy, whether it be through the photography or through the ideas and discussions in the posts.
My plan for this blog is to explore everything from religion to politics, and from crazy pet owners to dogs that I've loved. It will include photography, some soap boxing, my thoughts on life and hopefully a few useful bits as well. A person has a lot of time to think when they're up at 4:30 to get a long run in before work, or sitting on the side of a slough waiting for the perfect combination of birds and lighting, and it's these thoughts that I hope to share within the confines of this blog. At the end of the day, who knows what it will be other than another new adventure, and we'll see where it takes us. I hope you give me a little time to feel this out and that you'll stick around with feedback, both good and bad.
What's in a name? No I didn't name the blog after a Bon Jovi song, and until I came up with the name, I didn't even know that Bon Jovi song existed. It's actually the answer I find myself giving too often when asked how I fit all the things I do into my life. We only get one shot at this dance, and I want to take full advantage of the opportunities I've been given and live with no regrets. There are two quotes that I think sum up this attitude:
"Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well-preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "HOLY $&!T what a ride!"Or, as I like to say...I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
and from Erma Brombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
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