Being Gray in a Black and White World

We have become a world of labels: people that must fit under a banner or into a set box; we must organize our world and ourselves into pigeon holes. It is an "us versus them" mentality. You are "for us or against us," with no regard to deeper discussion and meaning. We so strive for everything in our world to be simple that we make everything black and white or cut and dried, or choose your own cliche, but at the end of the day we want to everything to have a nice little title and fit into some predetermined category. It is this mentality, taken to the extreme, that has led to the current state of disarray in this country. Our systems of government, health care, education, and economics are broken, and until we admit that the world is gray and not black and white we will never be able to fix them.

Rational people have different opinions based on life-experiences, education and personal beliefs. One of my favorite country singers, Chris LeDoux, has a song entitled "Cowboy and the Hippie." It is about a cowboy and hippie hitchhikers who, after nearly coming to blows over their differences, realize at their cores how much they actually have in common. Sometimes I feel I have this same argument occurring in my own mind, am I a cowboy or a hippie, a conservative or a liberal? I would argue we all are a little of both, and with the important items we often could sit down and agree; however, we get hung up on the little details and have to remain on separate sides of the isle in order to preserve our labels in our nice, neat, black and white little world.

My life is filled with examples of not fitting into a clear-cut political, or worldly-view box. I currently own an American-made, full-size, 16-lousy-mpg pickup truck and at the same time own a German-engineered, clean burning diesel, 40-50 mpg car. Cowboy or hippie? There are three stores in town where the employees know me on a first name basis: the bike shop, the coffee house and COACH. So am I a carbon bike riding, non-fat latte sipping, designer clothes wearing snob...or a mountain bike riding, granola munching, coffee swigging, bearded tree hugger?

One of my favorite past-times is hunting. Obviously I own guns as part of this pursuit. On the other hand, second amendment or not, I don't believe everyone in this country is entitled to have some unlimited right to guns. The problem is slippery slope logic and it seems to be an all or none game when it comes to gun ownership, from either side of the argument. So am I a NRA-wacko or a communist gun grabber?

I have been ultra-conservative with my money throughout my life. I have always attempted to save and keep my debt load to a minimum. I used academics to earn a spot in college, worked through college, have had jobs since graduation that ranged for working for large corporations to owning my own business. At the same time my childhood was shaped by union labor. I saw how big business could use strategies to break its workforce and manipulate sentiment in order to maximize profits. I have worked side-by-side with migrant workers, some illegals, and understand the struggles they go through in an effort to better their state in life. With these life experiences, and current state as a DINK (dual-income no kids), it's crystal clear where I stand fiscally...right?

For the last 14 years I have faithfully been with the same woman, married for 12 of those years, attend church and have even considered the ministry. I also have promiscuous friends, gay friends, alcoholic friends, and friends that don't fit into any category. I believe in personal choice and freedoms, and that the government shouldn't have a role in our personal lives and choices. However, I also feel that there is a place for the government when those personal choices have the potential to negatively impact the personal lives of others. You all can see clearly where that line is drawn right?

There is no doubt that money makes more money, and the rich get richer. Or, they should get richer as long as they don't get too greedy. While we all might not have the potential to be ubermillionaires, it is still possible in this country to do just about whatever you want. At the end of the day no amount of luck, or money, will ever be able to replace hard work and dedication when it comes to achieving your goals. The kicker is that with power too often comes greed. I would like to believe that as humans we are inherently good, but time and time again we prove otherwise. We need rules, laws and some amount of taxation, to ensure that businesses play fair and needed services are provided to the many. By the same token workers need to be adequately protected and receive fair wages, but not to the point of undermining the company's ability to generate a profit. Here again we have two polarizing camps: big-business looking to maximize profits and organized labor looking for their best deal. Both groups need the other and both want to win the debate. So, a certain amount of structure is needed, and rules need to be created; however, in this modern state of affairs who do we trust to make these rules and decisions?

Abortion and the death penalty are two topics that are filled with deep emotion. Both bring about an end, and both have fervent supporters on both sides of the isle. Why is it that those so passionate about one are so against the other? How can those two sides feel that such a complex issue is completely black and white? I could sincerely, and passionately, argue both sides of both issues on any given day. There are certain issues that are bigger than those making the decisions and issues that truly do not have right and wrong answers. As a society we have come to accept the decisions of the majority, and sometimes those decisions and opinions change. The problem is that those decisions and opinions should be based on open discussions. Unfortunately though, those vital discussions are never allowed to happen by those so polarized and blinded by their own passion.

Mention the words, social programs, and just about everyone will have a negative response. There are those that feel there should be no social programs, while others feel the government needs to do more. As long as man inhabits this earth there will be a need for structure, rules and programs for those that need assistance. As fellow man, independent of religious beliefs, we have an obligation to those less fortunate. The sticking point becomes how do you manage these programs, who is allowed into them and at what point do we say enough is enough? I have no doubt that my ultra-conservative friends and ultra-liberal friends could sit down over a drink and have a discussion on social issues. In fact they probably would find that they agree upon some issues, and come to agreement on programs to address these social issues. All would agree that some type of limit to the use the programs, and prevent abuse, would need to be in place and personal accountability would have to enter the picture at some point in time. Why can't we have these same discussions on a national level?

Whatever happened to winners and losers? We don't all succeed all the time so why do we shape our children to believe this to be true? We need to go back to keeping score, from Little League to home ownership. There is no longer an incentive to succeed, because we are never allowed to have the fear of failure. With unlimited strikes in Little League and mortgage bailouts as adults, we never have to worry about losing. We have become complacent and comfortable, and it has stunted what we can become. We want to have everything given to us all of the time. The entire paradigm needs to be changed so that we once again understand what it means to lose, to suffer, to go without so that we can strive to achieve, to win and to appreciate what we have.

Along those same lines when did it become a bad thing to change your opinion? As soon as a politician changes theirs they are labeled a waffler, and decried as being somehow in the wrong. As intelligent creatures shouldn't we all change our opinions at times based on new information and new life experiences? Whether it is my doctor, an elected official or a family member I respect them more for their ability to be able to admit when they are wrong and change course accordingly. Too often we hold the ability to reason, to learn, to change, as a negative when it should be championed as a positive. It is this rigid inflexibility that leads us down these dark paths we find ourselves in today's world.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who point out problems without offering some type of solution, and to a certain degree I'm guilty of that here. So, what do we do? I don't think the solutions are Tea Parties and the currently popular attitude to not re-elect any official...again the extremes. There is a need for real discussion with real people. We all know what the typical two-party spin is on any particularly subject and we all know which 24-hour news channels promote that spin. We recognize this stupidity for what it is, yet we continue to allow it to happen. Elected officials used to be the intelligent, visionary leaders amongst us, now those people are too smart to enter the helpless fray that has become our political system.

We are a world of grays trying to live in an artificially black and white world. Opinions, success, failure, and compromise are not dirty words. There is a need for open dialogue about what really matters to us, and we need to put out a call for leaders who are willing to lead. Whether you believe truly in "Mission Accomplished" or that there is a "Change You Believe In" there is no denying that our country's system is broken and is in dire need of fixing.

There is a famous quote that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's fair to say by this definition that we are clearly insane in this country. The system is broken and the question remains, can we ever fix it?