Being Gray in a Black and White World

We have become a world of labels: people that must fit under a banner or into a set box; we must organize our world and ourselves into pigeon holes. It is an "us versus them" mentality. You are "for us or against us," with no regard to deeper discussion and meaning. We so strive for everything in our world to be simple that we make everything black and white or cut and dried, or choose your own cliche, but at the end of the day we want to everything to have a nice little title and fit into some predetermined category. It is this mentality, taken to the extreme, that has led to the current state of disarray in this country. Our systems of government, health care, education, and economics are broken, and until we admit that the world is gray and not black and white we will never be able to fix them.

Rational people have different opinions based on life-experiences, education and personal beliefs. One of my favorite country singers, Chris LeDoux, has a song entitled "Cowboy and the Hippie." It is about a cowboy and hippie hitchhikers who, after nearly coming to blows over their differences, realize at their cores how much they actually have in common. Sometimes I feel I have this same argument occurring in my own mind, am I a cowboy or a hippie, a conservative or a liberal? I would argue we all are a little of both, and with the important items we often could sit down and agree; however, we get hung up on the little details and have to remain on separate sides of the isle in order to preserve our labels in our nice, neat, black and white little world.

My life is filled with examples of not fitting into a clear-cut political, or worldly-view box. I currently own an American-made, full-size, 16-lousy-mpg pickup truck and at the same time own a German-engineered, clean burning diesel, 40-50 mpg car. Cowboy or hippie? There are three stores in town where the employees know me on a first name basis: the bike shop, the coffee house and COACH. So am I a carbon bike riding, non-fat latte sipping, designer clothes wearing snob...or a mountain bike riding, granola munching, coffee swigging, bearded tree hugger?

One of my favorite past-times is hunting. Obviously I own guns as part of this pursuit. On the other hand, second amendment or not, I don't believe everyone in this country is entitled to have some unlimited right to guns. The problem is slippery slope logic and it seems to be an all or none game when it comes to gun ownership, from either side of the argument. So am I a NRA-wacko or a communist gun grabber?

I have been ultra-conservative with my money throughout my life. I have always attempted to save and keep my debt load to a minimum. I used academics to earn a spot in college, worked through college, have had jobs since graduation that ranged for working for large corporations to owning my own business. At the same time my childhood was shaped by union labor. I saw how big business could use strategies to break its workforce and manipulate sentiment in order to maximize profits. I have worked side-by-side with migrant workers, some illegals, and understand the struggles they go through in an effort to better their state in life. With these life experiences, and current state as a DINK (dual-income no kids), it's crystal clear where I stand fiscally...right?

For the last 14 years I have faithfully been with the same woman, married for 12 of those years, attend church and have even considered the ministry. I also have promiscuous friends, gay friends, alcoholic friends, and friends that don't fit into any category. I believe in personal choice and freedoms, and that the government shouldn't have a role in our personal lives and choices. However, I also feel that there is a place for the government when those personal choices have the potential to negatively impact the personal lives of others. You all can see clearly where that line is drawn right?

There is no doubt that money makes more money, and the rich get richer. Or, they should get richer as long as they don't get too greedy. While we all might not have the potential to be ubermillionaires, it is still possible in this country to do just about whatever you want. At the end of the day no amount of luck, or money, will ever be able to replace hard work and dedication when it comes to achieving your goals. The kicker is that with power too often comes greed. I would like to believe that as humans we are inherently good, but time and time again we prove otherwise. We need rules, laws and some amount of taxation, to ensure that businesses play fair and needed services are provided to the many. By the same token workers need to be adequately protected and receive fair wages, but not to the point of undermining the company's ability to generate a profit. Here again we have two polarizing camps: big-business looking to maximize profits and organized labor looking for their best deal. Both groups need the other and both want to win the debate. So, a certain amount of structure is needed, and rules need to be created; however, in this modern state of affairs who do we trust to make these rules and decisions?

Abortion and the death penalty are two topics that are filled with deep emotion. Both bring about an end, and both have fervent supporters on both sides of the isle. Why is it that those so passionate about one are so against the other? How can those two sides feel that such a complex issue is completely black and white? I could sincerely, and passionately, argue both sides of both issues on any given day. There are certain issues that are bigger than those making the decisions and issues that truly do not have right and wrong answers. As a society we have come to accept the decisions of the majority, and sometimes those decisions and opinions change. The problem is that those decisions and opinions should be based on open discussions. Unfortunately though, those vital discussions are never allowed to happen by those so polarized and blinded by their own passion.

Mention the words, social programs, and just about everyone will have a negative response. There are those that feel there should be no social programs, while others feel the government needs to do more. As long as man inhabits this earth there will be a need for structure, rules and programs for those that need assistance. As fellow man, independent of religious beliefs, we have an obligation to those less fortunate. The sticking point becomes how do you manage these programs, who is allowed into them and at what point do we say enough is enough? I have no doubt that my ultra-conservative friends and ultra-liberal friends could sit down over a drink and have a discussion on social issues. In fact they probably would find that they agree upon some issues, and come to agreement on programs to address these social issues. All would agree that some type of limit to the use the programs, and prevent abuse, would need to be in place and personal accountability would have to enter the picture at some point in time. Why can't we have these same discussions on a national level?

Whatever happened to winners and losers? We don't all succeed all the time so why do we shape our children to believe this to be true? We need to go back to keeping score, from Little League to home ownership. There is no longer an incentive to succeed, because we are never allowed to have the fear of failure. With unlimited strikes in Little League and mortgage bailouts as adults, we never have to worry about losing. We have become complacent and comfortable, and it has stunted what we can become. We want to have everything given to us all of the time. The entire paradigm needs to be changed so that we once again understand what it means to lose, to suffer, to go without so that we can strive to achieve, to win and to appreciate what we have.

Along those same lines when did it become a bad thing to change your opinion? As soon as a politician changes theirs they are labeled a waffler, and decried as being somehow in the wrong. As intelligent creatures shouldn't we all change our opinions at times based on new information and new life experiences? Whether it is my doctor, an elected official or a family member I respect them more for their ability to be able to admit when they are wrong and change course accordingly. Too often we hold the ability to reason, to learn, to change, as a negative when it should be championed as a positive. It is this rigid inflexibility that leads us down these dark paths we find ourselves in today's world.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who point out problems without offering some type of solution, and to a certain degree I'm guilty of that here. So, what do we do? I don't think the solutions are Tea Parties and the currently popular attitude to not re-elect any official...again the extremes. There is a need for real discussion with real people. We all know what the typical two-party spin is on any particularly subject and we all know which 24-hour news channels promote that spin. We recognize this stupidity for what it is, yet we continue to allow it to happen. Elected officials used to be the intelligent, visionary leaders amongst us, now those people are too smart to enter the helpless fray that has become our political system.

We are a world of grays trying to live in an artificially black and white world. Opinions, success, failure, and compromise are not dirty words. There is a need for open dialogue about what really matters to us, and we need to put out a call for leaders who are willing to lead. Whether you believe truly in "Mission Accomplished" or that there is a "Change You Believe In" there is no denying that our country's system is broken and is in dire need of fixing.

There is a famous quote that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's fair to say by this definition that we are clearly insane in this country. The system is broken and the question remains, can we ever fix it?

Perfection -- Is it in you?

This is one of my off days from the marathon training schedule. On my long runs I get a lot of time to think about a variety of topics and ideas. My goal with this blog is to write down some of the inner ramblings that occur while I'm pounding the pavement. Some you may get, a few may make you wonder if I've lost my mind, and I'm hoping a couple will actually bring meaningful insight to your day.

I think about perfection a lot. Now, I'll qualify that by stating that in no way do I think I'm perfect or that true perfection is even attainable; however, I do think it should be everyone's goal to strive towards that end. It seems that using the term perfect, or the goal of its attainment, has become a dirty word in today's society of "good enough." To even insinuate perfection is somehow a show of arrogance or a "holier than thou" attitude that is shunned. Too often we use the fact that we will never be perfect as an excuse to not even attempt to reach that goal, and instead, too often, we do just enough to get by. Are we not wasting the greatest experiences of our lives, our talents, our hopes, and our dreams by not chasing this ideal of perfection that lies within us all?

Perfection has been defined many ways, and it is the definition "without flaw" that I think too many people get hung up on and use as their excuse to quit, or to never start down that path. By our very nature we are flaw filled, so by this definition of perfection we have no hope. However, there is more to the ideal of perfection. These are the ideas of being whole, complete, an example of excellence, or the attainment of a purpose. All are commonly used definitions of perfection, and all are goals that we should be striving for as humans. Unfortunately we have traded in our human spirit of pushing beyond, of inner and outer discovery, our quest for something better... We have traded all of these for the goal of comfort. What kind of goal is that? Has the winning argument become, "I can't be perfect so why even try?"

The only way we'll ever advance, dare I say become whole and complete, is to challenge ourselves to push towards our own inner perfection. How will you ever know what you are made of if you never push yourself beyond your limits? How will you know what lies beyond if you never break your mind and body down completely, to the point of exhaustion, to the point of a lack of understanding, in order to discover what lies at your core? How will you ever discover your hidden potential if you never challenge yourself beyond the comfortable and the known? If you never push towards the limits, if you never find your boundaries, how will you ever know where they are or if they exist? How will you ever know if you neared your best, your perfectness, if you never laid it all on the line?

Much of the problem is that we look toward some ultimate example of perfection as though it were one goal. Truly I feel that each of us contains our own perfection and that within us all is unique perfection, not some universal standard we all should strive to achieve. We are given the gifts of our minds and bodies, and it is wholly and completely using these gifts, to attain the purpose of completing these gifts, that is the path towards perfection. We see examples of other people's degrees of perfection every day. It is this higher level on the path to perfection they exhibit that attracts us to the people we surround ourselves with: our spouses, our friends, co-workers, and others in our lives. All of us are on this path towards perfection, we all just have varying degrees of success in tapping into our own perfection in the many facets of our lives. Certainly none of us will ever obtain true perfection, but does that mean we shouldn't strive towards fully realizing our potential?

In today's society we no longer journey; we no longer follow a path. Instead we are consumed with instant gratification and results. None of your greatest life experiences, those events that shaped who you are, came without some type of struggle or journey. However, instead of embracing those struggles, those challenges, those journeys, we look for comfort and insulation from anything that may bring us pain, suffering, discomfort and ultimately growth. How can we ever experience the highest of highs without feeling the lows? It is these walls that must be broken down, these barriers pushed through, in order for us to continue to grow, to find out who we are, both mentally and physically, on our path to discovering our perfection. It is a very weak argument to state that since we can't attain perfection there is no reason to even attempt it.

There are times that this lack of attainment will result in frustration and will be disheartening, but the path of life is filled with frustrations and heartbreak. It is impossible to experience success without knowing failure. One cannot feel true love without suffering true hurt, and one cannot appreciate accomplishment without the struggle of the journey. My pure love for others in my life has created great pain when the love wasn't mutual, but the joy that is experienced when that love is returned is worth every ounce of pain that is incurred along the way. Much as with my endurance endeavors, the pain and suffering never holds a candle to the overwhelming sense of personal accomplishment. Life could be a lot more even-keeled without the highs and lows, but it is a life that is never truly lived. Or, put in simplistic terms normal is boring.

There is a need for a bit of a disclaimer here, and with it out of the way I hope this discussion can continue. Obviously all of our thoughts, beliefs and actions are shaped by something. Since this blog is in its infancy I thought it may be necessary to give insight into what shapes some of the ramblings that will occur on this site. I'm a believer, how I live my life is guided by the Bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ. At several points in my life I have felt a call to the ministry but have never taken that leap. What I don't want is for this fact to instantly close the minds of those reading this blog or for you to go no further. We are too quick to categorize and pigeon-hole people. For many people there are two groups of Christians: those that attend church but don't talk about it openly and the Bible-thumping crowd. I would like to think most of us fall somewhere in between. Likewise, I don't believe the other group's pigeon hole is that of all non-believers. I think all of us as humans are on a spiritual path, we are all just at different places. No matter your beliefs, our mine, we are in this life together, and as such are tied together along this path regardless of our differing beliefs, or lack thereof. I readily welcome discussion from all angles, but don't tolerate closed-mindedness and sweeping generalizations. I want to look at the idea of perfection a bit deeper, and I hope it's at this turn that I don't loose some of my audience.

In several places throughout the Bible the ideal of perfection is discussed. In Matthew 5:48 Jesus instructs, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." If it was just that simple, and we used the "without flaw" definition of perfect, then we really wouldn't need the rest of the Good Book with instructions on how to live, and we wouldn't have a need for the Easter holiday, because we all would just be perfect. Clearly we are not without flaw, however, we all have the ability to be complete, to be whole and to attain our purpose. It is this definition, this goal of perfection, that we all should be striving to attain.

I would go so far as to say that with anything worth doing in our lives we should be striving to do it to the best of our ability. Too often I think we find ourselves going through the motions, doing enough to just get by or by just doing what we can do. Is that any way to live? Have we admitted defeat and the consolation prize of the easy road? When we stop growing as people, when we stop challenging ourselves to become better, more perfect creations, we have essentially admitted defeat and are counting our days to the end of our sentence. By constantly striving for the unattainable goal of perfection, by continuing to grow, our journey never ends and only gets better with each day and every moment we embrace.

Now I would be a fool to think we could keep this "all in, all the time" attitude up, and anyone who knows me will attest that I can sometimes get moody, dark, negative and quite crass. In our house my wife has even named the condition as "Life on the Joe Coaster." However, I would like to think that my general prevailing attitude is one of being my best and serving others to my fullest. This striving for perfection leads to restlessness and a lack of contentment that can certainly be negatives when taken to the extremes. On the other end of the spectrum, the highs are like no other and the depth of beauty and joy you can experience is beyond that which you could ever imagine.

It is our duty as human beings to strive towards perfection. Every day we should be doing our God-given best at our jobs, as fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, as friends and as fellow human beings. To do anything less is a dis-service to the amazing gifts we have been given in the form of the talents we possess and the gifts of the wonderful people we all have in our lives.

It my sound cliche, but life is a journey that you can either experience to the fullest or sit back and allow it to pass you by. Unfortunately in our instant access society this is one game without a pause, reset or start over button. We get one chance on this ride and we have the choice of swinging into the saddle or staying in bed....as for me, well, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.